Juicy Fruit

Emotions give me a headache. No wonder people seek out Xanax and lobotomies. Xanax, I've learned(though not through personal use) will kill your libido, and your desire to have sex won't return for six months until after you've stopped taking it. I find it hard to believe a life where I didn't want to have sex. Needless to say, I am not taking Xanax, instead I'm drinking diet coke and taking advil. I'm sure they're made up of the same ingredients. The last text I received read "advil is magic and it tastes like candy." True Facts. 

Work is generally better than the average job. I know this because I've had average jobs, and they don't pay you well, you don't get free soda, and there are no dance parties. But today I can't seem to get away from the desire to not want to be here, despite barely having any work. I now turn to a list of places I would rather be: 

In a hammock on the beach in Hawaii

In my sleep number bed, finally finishing those Goddamn vampire books 

Shopping at H&M 

Lake swimming

Sitting in a clean hottub 

Under a tree at the park finishing Revolutionary Road

At a small theater watching The Big Lebowski and eating Milk Duds and Popcorn

On a gondola ride in Venice 

Eating cheese and drinking wine in the French country side 

Making out/having sex with someone who knows what they're doing 

Those are just the highlights.