Thursday, April 22, 2010

They say, this is the city.

Los Angeles is the most exhausting city. Partially it's weather is to blame, partially it's girth. In other places there is a grace period where you can blame the temperature outside for when you choose to not leave the comforts of your home. This city makes you feel lazy when you do that. In other cities you can run out of things to do. In this city I couldn't do everything it had to offer over two or three lifetimes.

I didn't leave the house until I absolutely had to today. I felt bad because of it, for two reasons 1: oftentimes I skip my routine workout so I can run an important errand (usually weekend related) and today I didn't take part in any important errand running and 2. I skipped a workout. I have to remind myself every now and again that skipping a workout won't bring my life to a dead halt, but I do know that not taking part in a workout can ultimately lead to not taking part in a number of workouts.

The other day as I drove home I saw two interesting "Los Angelisms" that I found fascinating 1: a pair of prostitutes dancing on the corner next to a donut shop and 2: a bently (BENTLY!!!) with the license plate "BISHOP" ran the red light at the intersection of Hollywood and Highland. The two instances happened minutes apart from each other, and it really fucks with my perspective on where I am and what should be happening to me.

This weekend I'm going to play bocce ball in the park next to my apartment with a flask in hand. I'm doing it because the weather forecast says it's going to be perfect outside, and wasting Sunday hungover will feel better knowing I was doing something "outdoorsy" while I was getting to that point.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Are you afraid of the dark?


I used to be terrified of the night when I was little. I insisted that my older sister let me sleep with her (as I got older I learned that she, too, was afraid of the night...of the dark.) I was so afraid, and now, I work primarily in the the dark. I seldomly get scared anymore. I wonder: do I not let myself get into a position to be scared, or am I smart enough to know what's real is often not scary at all, and most things that should scare us either happen instantaneously, or are long and drawn out pains that we build courage, and support so we can not be afraid. Maybe I'm not afraid because I have that. Yet, somehow knowing that I'm not scared anymore kind of scares me...

I miss writing.