Inspired by Andy Rooney

I think too much...about needless things. I think we all do. If we all thought about important stuff all the time, the world would have no problems. I think about that sensation you get when you're driving in your car, the one that would leave you to do something erratic, like drive over the median for no reason except that you could. You'd risk death, of course, but the feeling to separate oneself would be worth it, right? I'm thinking about unemployment, again. But, as usual, I'm not scared. In fact it might prompt me to look for (gasp!) a day job. Maybe I could go back to focusing on things that are important to me...like my appearance. I've been thinking about clothes, and jackets, and how my arms are always too fat for jackets, and I have to go a size up, and then I look boxy, but how do they always find perfect fitting jackets on "What Not to Wear?" I assume other people are shopping for those helpless souls who don't know how to dress. 

I've been thinking about Passion, and Practicality, and how those two things create a perfect marriage. When you only have one of those things, I guess it would make an ok relationship, unless it's just passion, then it makes for more of a scene. It also probably makes for a great time in bed. Do you learn passion, or is it something you're gifted? Though my monotone voice would implicate something different, I consider myself pretty passionate...about work, life, sex, all those things I hope to make me happier, stronger, fitter. Does God give people passion? Are you born with it in your soul? We all have a little something driving us. I think about articles I've read where couples have stopped having sex after months/years of being in a relationship. That seems like a mistake, a hiccup in passion. I hope that doesn't happen to me. 

I guess it's all dependent on if I want Practicality or Passion. 

The Water is Warm

I'm experiencing that feeling of exhaustion, without having done much of anything but eat, and run a little, and mostly laze around. It's a difficult life, no doubt. 

Hey, has Bon Jovi(is it all one word?) always sang in support of baseball? Or is this a new thing? 

So I recently moved out from living with my sister. I have always lived with family. For a while I still felt childlike because of this, like I had never really grown up. I assumed that once the crutch of living with family was taken out from under me I would be completely lost, and undefined. That didn't happen...fully. Now that I've moved into a different place(a place well established before I got here) I feel like I'm experiencing two different feelings: self awareness of what I need and want out of a home, and the adjustment to now living in someone else's. I think I'm happy with the way things are shaping up at the new place. It's kind of like how Garth describes a new pair of underwear in Wayne's World: "at first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you." I think this place will have to be a part of me, but at the same time it has to have a part of me too. Now if only I could figure out a way to make this place look and feel like a luxury suite at a 4+ star hotel. I'm at least a three and a half star girl. 

By the way, I just got to the part in True Lies where Jamie Lee Curtis has to do the "Sexy" dance for the guy who she doesn't know is actually her husband. Man is she agile. And man are her panties really high cut (check those out! I'm surprised they aren't overlapping with her bra strap.) They kind of make her look like an Amazon woman. A quirky Amazon woman who knows how to strip tease with style...but not a lot of grace. Now she sells Yogurt to help people be regular. Now that's versatility. 

Is this the one where they see the whales?

Paychecks are good. French Fries are good. I had both of those tonight. I probably shouldn't have had the french fries, but I have, as of late, had an insatiable appetite. I know why. I've had this appetite before, it's just more apparent now since I've been off the pill (birth control to those of you from before 1952.) It's amazing, as a woman, to have, every month, a shift in emotion yet still have absolutely no control over it. Every month I forget that I teeter on the verge of crazy for about three days. This goes along with uncontrollable eating and feeling bad about it. 

Speaking of which, I'm making an attempt at discovering the cuisine this fair city of mine has to offer. It's not just the cuisine, but it's the scene, the life, the land I've so far ignored and put to the wayside. instead of buying food all week at work, maybe I will save my money and put it towards a new place to tempt my pallet. I've never been one for interesting food, but life's too short to not try something at least once. I didn't always go running every Saturday, and I tried that once, and haven't stopped. Maybe this will stick, even if it's just me and one other person interested in eating, and drinking, and discovering. This might be great. It might also backfire and I won't get cultured at all. At least I tried. Not everyone lives a privileged life like I do, it would be a shame to not take advantage of the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of it all. Join me on my life's adventure, won't you?

Here we are, face to face

I wonder if the amount of time we spend talking about money was translated into doing something about our money problems, then we could be successful in the long run in solving them. Watching CNN doesn't help me think to manage my money, especially when they play ThermaSpa commercials. Have you seen this? It's like a hot tub you can also swim in. Swank. Of all the smart moves I've made in my life, I thank God I decided to screw around in math class and not go into the field of finances. If I had I know I would have had a panic attack by now. Hell, Anderson Cooper is just talking about money on my little TV and it's stressing me out. 

Today is a strange day. It's taken a turn for the pessimistic. I try not to dwell too much on unclear feelings, but when the ball gets rolling, it's hard to stop it from tumbling over top of me. Thank God Sex and the City just started. Those women's issues are heightened and happen far more often than mine. They live through full relationships in about half an hour, and I'm sure if we counted the number of times they had to "figure things out" for themselves in a season it would far surpass me, ten fold. After all, I was never in love with a priest. 

Maybe if I had been, he could have saved me already. 

This Little Light of Mine

In an attempt to write more frequently, and detach myself from a failed social network, I have created this secondary blog. I'd like to pick up where I left off...but then again, I feel like I've entered a second stage of my grown-up life. The Empire to my New Hope if you will. Hopefully this one doesn't end on such a downer. Right now my job is pretty awesome, my love life is chugging away, and My football team won this week, it's really primed to end poorly at any minute now!! 

No matter, life is what you make of it. And right now I'm tired, a little uninspired, and hoping to write again, leaving my mark on the interweb/series of tubes. If this is the only post that happens on this blog, at least I put a toe in the water, knowing that I wanted to learn to swim at some point. Stay tuned for full laps.