Monday, October 20, 2008

Like a Natural Woman

Day to day we don't know what the world is going to give us. In return we hope only to be able to have an idea of what we can give it back. Somedays I am completely clueless as to what I can potentially offer this world. The definition of world here is very specific to me. I relate it to MY world, the world in which I've partially created, the one where I've placed myself and my life upon an even greater world. Think of the Universe as a field, and our world as a campground. My world is a tent on that campground. Who and what I let in and out of that tent is entirely up to me...sometimes. Sometimes bugs let themselves in. But that's a different analogy. 

When I wake up in the morning I step out of my tent and I see what the world has for me, and I present myself to the world. Lately I've been wondering about what I have to offer, and what I can do to make it more than what I've done. My world is so small, and I know because of how small it is I can do more for that which is in it. Or maybe I don't mean anything more than what I've already stood for. 

I guess in a roundabout way I'm trying to say that I want to mean more to you than I already have, because I want to show you how much you mean to me. And I'm not really sure I know how to do that. And I don't think I'm trying hard enough. My self worth is brought into question and a mirror is put in front of me. How do I get the reflection just right? The reflection can't change unless I change it myself. And I think working to improve that is a life long journey, and I think finding people to inspire that improvement is essential. 

Or maybe Tyler Durden was right: "Self improvement is masturbation." 

1 comment:

Rory said...

If you meant anymore we would live in a church versus an apartment